Polyvagal Theory is a way of understanding some of the deepest parts of the human psyche/experience, ironically through our biology. It gives us insight into our automatic reactions - why we get anxious, fearful, overwhelmed and shut down - despite knowing better. Polyvagal Theory teaches us that the nervous system is the source of our felt sense of safety and connection with other people. And it's also the source of the anxious thinking, negative thought loops, stress in the body, and so on, when it's in fight-flight-freeze or fawn modes. Solutions that come from connection and the body will have a greater effect on the nervous system than just thinking different thoughts.

And even after all the science, all the thinking, there are some things we can only truly know through our direct lived experience. Many of these things defy scientific explanations. I leave room for it all. I'm comfortable using words like energy, God, Spirit, Universe and the Divine. I believe you when you share with me transcendent moments of bliss and awareness that connect directly with your soul. I know what you mean when you talk about energy moving, or being blocked. And I accept if this makes you uncomfortable or skeptical - we will work on the level that has the highest truth for you.

Parts work is a great way to get access to the subconscious mind and generate greater compassion for ourselves. We treat unwanted feelings, thoughts and behaviours as coming from a "Part" of us - could be an inner child or inner protector, for example. This Part of us is just trying to keep us safe, and help us avoid pain. With tapping, we can release the emotional charge held by our parts. This allows our real Soul-Self to come back online, leading us from a place of wisdom, integrity and compassion.

We may wonder if we're neurotic for being so good at ruminating or seeing the glass as half-empty. The Psychological Injury model encourages us to look at all of these traits as adaptations to psychological wounds. We ruminate perhaps because it was always left up to us to fix everything - we haven't learned how to ask for help, or use better tools. We're pessimistic because things did turn out badly at one point, and we sure learned that lesson! We're not lazy, crazy, stupid or flawed. Psychological wounds change our behaviour and thinking - and we still have access to healing them and resetting the pattern.

This theory validates the primal importance of having solid, healthy bonds with those close to us. It affirms that when we aren't responded to, when we aren't seen, heard and understood for who we truly are, that we can suffer some of the deepest pain possible. Attachment Theory tells us about possible ways that we may have learned to adapt to the potential to be hurt in relationships - to push away, to cling harder, or to oscillate between extremes of the two. It gives us a roadmap to healthier relationships of all types by inviting us to grow into Secure Attachment.

Perhaps you're expecting to sit down and explain what's wrong with you, in order to feel better. What traumas happened in childhood. What bad habits you have. In this way, we're always trying to get over something about ourselves. This sets us up to suffer within an endless self-improvement grind. Positive psychology puts a loving stop to this pattern by balancing our work with solutions-focused themes. Positive psychology validates why we help you identify your strengths, what matters to you, and what you really want out of life. And it empowers you to live into your potential, even before you've fixed every last thing about yourself. Without being a form of toxic positivity, it affirms that personal freedom and joy are available to you, right here and now.