When we’re stressed out, one of the first things to occur is a narrowing of our awareness – tunnel vision. We go from being easy and relaxed, able to see the multiple possibilities that are floating in and out of our reality, to working from false dichotomies.
A false dichotomy is a situation in which only two alternatives are perceived to exist. When we’re stuck in life, typically these options appear as – excuse me – “shitty” and “shittier.”
Either I quit my job and lose all money and respect trying to do something I love, or I suffer forever in this cubicle.
Either I move to be closer to family and negatively disrupt my kids’ lives, or I stay here and don’t help care for my aging parents.
We know that when we feel stuck, and we’re see-sawing back and forth between two unfulfilling options, that we’re stuck in a false dichotomy.
Why are we there? Because we’re stressed. Stress narrows our perceptual range and creates these false crossroads that we can spend months or years agonizing over.
It always feels like trying to gain something of value will cost us another thing we value in a completely different way. It’s impossible to choose.
In reality, we are always surrounded by abundant possibilities that can lead to better solutions. It simply takes a relaxed, open mind to be able to perceive them. There are almost no limits to human creativity. We just have to get out of fight-or-flight mode to access that creativity and put it to use to solving the problems in our life.
What if I could pitch a job to my boss that actually matches my talents and fills a much-needed role in this organization?
What if I could find a new bridge job that would allow me to start the business I’ve always wanted to?
What if I could find a mentor who would be able to guide me through this career transition and provide the insight I’m missing?
What if I could finally put to rest this fear of failure that’s dogged me all my life, and then see what opportunities open up?
What if there is someone out there looking for someone exactly like me to partner with in this new venture, and I don’t have to do it all alone?
What if I lived overseas for a year, where I could live off my savings almost indefinitely, and took my business online?
The solution to false dichotomies is to dream bigger. If an option doesn’t give you the tingles, it’s too small for you.
Imagine putting all of the things you desire into the same dream.
Imagine not having to choose one for the other.
Just imagine it for the moment – let it be an unrealistic dream. But let that dream flow creatively in your mind, your subconscious going to work on it. Something brilliant is going to percolate up when you start to let yourself dream bigger.
If you’re not itching to get started on any of your perceived options, but instead are full of heaviness and dread, consider it’s because your soul has sized up those options and is giving you a big “no!”
It’s saying, try again, because this will starve me.
Try again; I won’t let you go through life leaving this gift locked away inside you.
There are more than two (shitty) solutions to every problem. I promise. Dream bigger, and wait for that feeling of excitement and flow to arise. That’s when you know you are in alignment with the current of your life.